Resolve and Begin Again
How to achieve meaningful New Year’s Resolutions (assuming you aren’t too cool to be seen setting them).
As we approach another new year, articles on setting and achieving New Year’s Resolutions appear across the media landscape. These are inevitably followed in close succession by articles by authors who are soooo over resolutions.I am struck by something Christopher Peterson, Ph.D., recently said of some of the naysayers of positive psychology:
[T]hose in and out of psychology who mount a relentless attack on positive psychology and more generally on anything positive (e.g., happiness, optimism). Even when their criticisms are correct, I am always confused about what they are urging on the rest of us.I often wonder the same about those who are decry New Year’s Resolutions.
Certainly, drinking to excess on December 31 while promising to never again [insert bad habit] and to always [insert good habit] is a formula for failure. We may set unrealistic goals, overestimate the boost in motivation that comes with a new year, underestimate the inevitable obstacles and setbacks (often, starting with a January 1 hangover). And it’s worth remembering that we can set goals and start over any time of year. But I see a certain baby-with-the-bathwater problem in throwing out our only holiday that explicitly includes goal setting in its rituals. I see nothing wrong with reflecting on the year just past and setting mindful, inspiring goals in areas of our lives that we care about.
If you, as I do, assume that some resolutions are worth making and keeping, how do you ensure that they are worth your while and improve your odds of success?
One list I found helpful comes from, of all places, a coupon. In late 2005, FranklinCovey distributed a coupon in blue and black on cardstock. Attached by a perforated line was an index-card-sized insert cut to fit inside most binder-based organizers. The masthead (and matching in-store displays) read, Resolutions Begin with the End in Mind. The front of this card offered this advice:
RESOLUTIONS TIPSOne the back were several lines to write out one's resolution or resolutions. I wrote four that year--two of which (returning to college as a full-time student and reading 50 non-fiction books in 2006) I completed. A 50% hit rate is, depending on who you ask, either slightly above or way above the national average, but it’s certainly over my personal average.
#1: DON'T BEGIN BY WRITING RESOLUTIONS
Begin by writing (or reviewing) your Personal Mission Statement, your most deeply held values and core beliefs. This provides the foundation for meaningful resolutions.
#2: WORK WITHIN YOUR CIRCLE OF INFLUENCE
Never set a resolution that is based on factors beyond your control. "Get a new job"--wrong. "Send out 15 resumes by March 30"--right.
#3: BE ACCOUNTABLE
Share your resolutions with someone you trust. Set specific times or dates that you will report your progress.
#4: RESOLUTIONS HASTILY CREATED ARE EASILY ABANDONED
Take time to really consider what would be most important for you to accomplish in the coming year. Don't make an impulsive list on New Year's Day.
#5: BELIEVE IN YOUR ABILITY TO CHANGE
Envision yourself living your resolution. Use your imagination to picture yourself overcoming challenges and sticking to your goal.
If you are looking from some more psychologically-grounded advice (which is ostensibly what this blog is about), procrastination researcher Timothy Pychyl wrote a great article on the subject last January. Here are some highlights from his New Year's Resolutions: One day down, 364 to go!:
- Successful projects need to be personally meaningful to motivate us to proceed, yet manageable enough to know what it is we need to actually do to proceed successfully.
- Expect to feel lousy when you begin and suck it up. If you can move past this initial discomfort and get started, your attitude will follow your behavior. . . . What we do know from a variety of research is that once we make progress on a goal (even a little), we feel better and more motivated. So, don't wait until you feel like it, just get started.
- Finally, expect setbacks. In fact, expect to feel like a failure at times. Change is not easy, and New Year's resolutions seem to be around some of the most negative and difficult goals in our lives. Be kind with yourself, yet also be relentlessly mindful , firmly bringing your attention back to your goal and your focus to the schedulable act at hand.
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Friday, December 18, 2009
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